One Day In The City
The manager let the candidate in. He was an ordinary man with no remarkable looks.
"Welcome. Please, sit down. Do you know what do we do in this department?"
"No, sir. I have no remote idea."
"Do you care about what we do?"
"Oh. Do you have any previous experience on similar positions?"
"Positions, you say? I'm not sure I understand you fully. Are you insinuating yourself into me?"
"Absolutely not. What I mean is, if you have had any similar jobs in other companies."
"Oh, in other companies. You bet I do. I have worked for many people, you know, here and there. Yes, many companies and enterprises and the like."
"Can you elaborate?"
"Sure I can."
"Ok, please do."
"I was production manager at Diffuse and Shady Enterprises."
"And many others."
"Yes? Which others?"
"I was chief technical officer at Tedium Entertainment."
"Oh, it was not that great."
"Do you understand the implications of the job you would develop here?"
"Is that another sexual proposal from you? You are a dirty horny man."
"Oh, please. That didn't sound remotely like a sexual proposal at all."
"I think you are a somewhat creepy executive, you know. Ok, just wanted to have your intentions clear."
"I think you behave like a real asshole."
"Oh, thank you very much."
"That was not a compliment."
"I have an expertise on the matter you mention thanks to my previous employers. Like, for example, at ARVG Inc., where I was technical counselor."
"Did you work at Annoyingly Repetitive Video Games?"
"Oh yes I did."
"I'm starting to think that you are overqualified for this job."
"Is that 'job' word you keep using an euphemism for 'blowjob' or 'handjob'?"
"Of course not."
"Not sure about that."
"Do you think you'll like to do my... er... to do what I do here?"
"Like, boring interviewees to death?"
"Oh, I don't think so."
"Ok, you're hired now. Welcome aboard."
"I'm starting to hate this fucking company."